Why Gender Identity and Parenthood Must Be Treated Separately

Kaspar-Williams has spoken openly about the emotional impact of being misgendered during childbirth, emphasizing that the experience went beyond hurt feelings. Being repeatedly called “mom” despite identifying as male at the time felt like an erasure of his identity, particularly given that his gender was clearly stated on hospital documentation.
He has stressed the importance of separating gender identity from biological function, noting that assumptions around pregnancy often exclude or invalidate many lived realities. “No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try — being born with a uterus doesn’t make conceiving or carrying a certainty,” Kaspar-Williams said. “That’s why it’s so important that we break defining ‘womanhood’ in terms of ‘motherhood,’ because it’s a false equivalency that all women can become mothers, that all mothers carry their children, or that all people who carry children are mothers.”
His experience illustrates how deeply rooted cultural narratives can shape professional environments, even when those narratives conflict with documented facts and patient identities. For transgender and non-binary individuals, such moments can compound stress during already vulnerable situations, reinforcing feelings of exclusion rather than care.
Kaspar-Williams’ journey also highlights the need for improved training and awareness within healthcare systems. Using correct names and pronouns is not a matter of preference but of respect, accuracy, and patient well-being. Clear communication and attentiveness can significantly affect how safe and supported patients feel.
Today, Kaspar-Williams’ story continues to resonate as an example of the complexities surrounding gender, parenthood, and institutional practices. While his experience reflects a deeply personal journey, it also points to systemic issues that affect many others.
As conversations around gender diversity evolve, his experience serves as a reminder that inclusivity must extend beyond policy and paperwork into everyday interactions. Respecting how individuals identify—especially in moments as profound as childbirth—is a necessary step toward more compassionate and equitable care for all.